Ponderize

Each week I have tried to follow the advice given by Elder Durant, to find a scripture to focus on for the week, and I just wanted to reflect on the last few weeks.

t has been something especially important to me because I wrote down that I needed to "find a 'friend scripture' each week" during the opening song of the first session of Conference. You can probably imagine my surprise when Elder Durant described how he and his wife "ponderize" scriptures, if a very sinilar ways as I was thinking of "friend scriptures."

All of the scriptures were chosen because they stood out to me either during personal or family scripture study, and I t's kind of funny that several of them have just sort of led into the next one. Learning of the Prince of darkness, and our ability to overcome (John 14:30, JST) led to a desire to be corrected in weakness (Jeremiah 10:24); which led to the importance of being spiritually-minded (2 Nephi 9:39); and finally, organizing to be more able to be spiritually-minded (D&C 88:119). I've never seen the "line upon line" aspect of moving closer to my Father in Heaven than in and through this last several weeks of ponderizing scriptures, and reflecting on the way they link together. 

I truly do feel like I am moving closer to the direction and purpose He has for me, and I feel like I am blessed, but I'm also better able to bless those around me (and especially my family) as I move closer to the place and person my God wants me to be. 

Organize Yourself

I totally forgot to create my #ponderize memento on Monday, but D&C 88:119 has been on my mind all week. 

Ever since we began the process to move to Florida, we have been decluttering and dejunking our belongings. Sure there are things that we maybe would have liked to keep, and I feel like a box I thought we kept is missing, but we have been cleaning out our belongings. 

Then, when we got here, oh my! It was chaos! Boxes everywhere! It was overwhelming to even unpack one box for a while, but as we've started to get the house clean and orderly, there has been such a sense of peace in our home. As we have been able to organize our temporal goods, it seems like our spiritual life has fallen into place. 

There is a tangible difference in the feeling of our home when we are able to keep the house organized. I feel like it's easier to do the other this listed--like pray, fast, be faithful, and just have our minds focused and centered on our Heavenly Father and Savior--when we have a clean and orderly house. 

Remember to be spiritually minded

"O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one.

***Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.***"

-2 Nephi 2:39

I have always liked the emphasized portion of this verse, and have remembered "spiritually-minded is life eternal" by the acronym "SMILE" (I feel like most young women have received a handout with that from an instructor at some point in their lives...) but this time the whole verse stood out to me. 

This verse reminded me of our Savior's suffering on Gethsemene. "Remember the awfulness of transgressing against that Holy God." How awful I feel when I accidentally make mistakes, but how much worse I feel after I realize I willfully chose to do something to add to that pain and suffering. How awful!

It just reminds me of an experience today: I lost my temper at my 2yo. I overreacted to her being perfectly 2, and by so doing, my Savior not only suffered to Atone for my mistake and anger, but He also suffered through the pain and heartache felt by my daughter. By losing my temper (and in some small way, "yielding to the enticings of the cunning one") my Savior was pained twice in the same instant. 

To me, being spiritually-minded means always remembering that gift of life, given of death, suffering and love. If I had been more spiritually-minded, I would have been more patient, slower to anger and react to my daughter; and I would have avoided hurting 2 people. 

While we seem to have made amends, it gave me a a glimpse of the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of the cunning one. 

Correct Me

"O Lord, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing." -Jeremiah 10:24

This week, Mario really felt like it was important to remember that we will need correction in this life, from a loving God, not in His judgement, for we are so imperfect that we could be completely destroyed if He wanted to. 

What I took from this message is that we have such a loving Father in Heaven, that even though He could bring us to nothing, and, because we are imperfect and need frequent corrections, there are times that He would be perfectly justified in exacting that judgement; instead, He loves us so much that we are corrected, instead of destroyed.

                   

Trying New Things and Hidden Talents

I don't know what it is about lately, I have been feeling like something was missing from my life. I have a wonderful husband, who has shown me more love, care and compassion than I thought imaginable; I have two wonderful daughters, who keep my life busy; and I have my love of the Gospel and my Savior.... Yet, something was missing. Then one day, a friend asked Mario if he would develop a website for her, trading goods/services. And all the sudden things changed.

Mario wasn't able to do much work on the website, due to teaching, so he suggested I give it a whorl. Low and behold, I was actually pretty good at it, and things just sort of picked up. Now, we're nearly ready to launch, and I think I might have found something I could continue doing as a supplemental income, and we're in the process of registering an online, home-based web development company with the State of Florida! It's a little overwhelming and exciting at the same time! I don't really have anything to show for web development, yet, but I look forward to the time in the near future when both are finalized!

If that weren't surprising enough, Mario and I also decided I should start cutting his hair. Since we both have short haircuts that need more maintenance, the cost of haircuts were adding up. Mario suggested that we buy a set of hair clippers because that cost about the same as one hair cut for him, and we went Cold Turkey to have me cut his hair. Oh my goodness!! You should have seen me hesitating to make the first cut. I knew that once I made that cut, there was no going back, and I was literally shaking with trepidation! That, combined with the vibration of the hair clippers, made it so I didn't do anything except turn the clippers on and off for about 5 minutes. (Mario was laughing at me, and in retrospect, I'm sure I seemed ridiculous!) After I was finally able to calm down enough to move smoothly, I made the first cut, and committed myself to finishing.

I am by no means an expert, and I don't think I would ever feel comfortable certifying to be a hairdresser, but it wasn't that bad! While I don't have a good "Before" picture, I was impressed enough that I wanted to share the final product. (I must have still been a little shaky, because my photos just didn't turn out well, so sorry for the blurriness.)

             

After: Back

After: Front (plus 2 cuties)

I don't want to boast, but I just wanted to share that sometimes we have talents and skills we don't know about. I've always had a hard time with a couple of the talent parables, including hiding your light under a bushel, because I have such a hard time seeing what talents I have to share. I don't want to have anything taken away for lack of use, but I often feel like a "Jack of all trades, master of none" with nothing to share. But maybe it's because I missed part of the parables include increasing in talents. Sure, it's clear that we are to develop the talents we already have, but maybe Jesus was trying to teach us that increasing in talents is as much about trying new things to increase in the NUMBER of talents/skills we have, as it is about improving current talents/skills. We are taught that all will have their place in Zion. (If we're still alive during the Second Coming and Millennium, Mario will clearly be doing something with computers.) While I'm still not sure where my "place" will be, I am glad for the reminder to keep trying new things, and, who knows, maybe my purpose is still to be discovered.

Just let this be the moral of the story: just because something is new and scary, doesn't mean it's not worth trying. Perhaps it's one of your hidden talents. You never know until you try.

The Prince of Darkness

"Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of darkness, who is of this world, cometh, but hath no power over me, but he hath power over you." 

-John 14:30 (JST).

How fitting it is that the Lord would remind us, through His Disciples, that He could not be touched by the "prince of darkness," or the adversary, but that we could. As we each are imperfect, we allow Satan into our lives. Each wrong choice allows him a little more access to our spirit, until we could, ultimately, be completely under his control. Conversely, every time we are able to exercise self-control, to resist his temptations, we are more able to resist in the future. 

I believe that is how Jesus Christ was able to get to the point where He could not be touched by Satan. Day by day, He chose correct principles; He fasted, prayed and studied as a boy; He always chose to be perfectly obedient, until that day, near His death, He had built such a firm knowledge of and shield from His Father, that He left no gaps for Satan to sneak in. 

So too can we get to that point, day-by-day, making correct choices, repenting from our mistakes and shortcomings through our Lord and Savior, until someday, we too can be completely unaffected by the temptations and fiery darts of the adversary. 

Can you imagine why it sometimes seems harder when we think we're doing the right thing? If we get stronger each time we withstand Satan, can you imagine how much more he would want to fight for us to be miserable like unto him? 

I'm not really sure who I'm talking to (quite possibly just my future self), but please remember, that when things seem to get harder, it might just be because we're on the right path, and the devil doesn't want to lose what ground he has gained in controlling us. 

Keep moving forwards. Strive to become the best you can be, and constantly rely on the Savior. There is no way we can make it alone, but He has provided a way that we can completely escape the bands of the adversary, and our Savior, Jesus Christ, WANTS us to let Him help us escape. 

Again, to whomever this message is intended for, know that I love you, your Savior loves you, and your hardships may just be proof that you are headed in the right direction. 

"Peace I Give Unto You"

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you..." -John 14:27

Today I had a hard time focusing on General Conference since our toddler decided she needed more active attention, but we were able to get her to sit down and watch most of President Monson's talk. I regret that I didn't catch much of his message, as I had a hard time not trying to reach out to him and help him stand through the tv. 

While I'm sure he had the support from the other side of the veil, it got me thinking. In the past 3-6 months, we have seen the passing of 3 sweet, loving and religious men, and I would not be surprised if President Monson joins them, and his dear wife, soon. 

I don't want to come across as casual or taking light of his divine calling. I am grateful for his service. I know he has been called of God to lead the church during this time, and he will continue to fulfill this calling and responsibility until his mortal frame fails him. But I also know that he cannot live forever. 

It is sometimes hard to think of those we love, who we know have loved us in return, passing through this journey of life, onto the next journey. With this realization, that we may only have a limited time left to enjoy the presence of President  Monson on this earth, I realized that I was never sad about the passings of Preisdent Packer and Elders Perry and Scott because of the peace of the Spirit, the knowledge that they moved on to continue living on the other side of the veil. I will miss them, and the sweet spirit they always brought to their talks and efforts, I am excited they are no longer limited by their frail, mortal frames. I truly have felt that peace promised by the Lord in John 14:27, and I wanted to share that peace with others. 

I love our Prophet, and the 14 other men who serve with him as prophets, seers and revelators. I'm excited for the future messages from Elders Rasband, Stevenson and Renlund, and I enjoyed what I caught from their messages today. And, when the time comes, I am ready to love and sustain President Nelson (or whomever the Lord will call, President Nelson being the current successor) as the Prophet. Until then, I will continue to love, support, sustain and pray for President Thomas S. Monson. 

Potty training?! Really?!

Yesterday (or was I Wednesday, I forget, and I'm too lazy to check) I posted on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to potty train my daughter, and I realized it probably sounded like I was trying to make her potty train because I wanted her to. Let's clear something up right now: potty training wasn't even in my radar. Sure, I had a rough idea of a couple of potty training methods from when I worked in the Early Care and Education Center at USU, but I hadn't done any research on it, I didn't have a plan. Nothing. For those who know me well, you know that's a big deal. I'm such a detail oriented planner, that doing anything (even surprise get togethers with friends, for a while) is majorly stressful for me.

Trust me, this wasn't my idea. However, I m a firm believer in supporting children in what they want to do, so here's the story of why we are in the process of potty training:

A week ago, today, we were going about our normal routine. We have a folding Dora potty seat that we bought before moving (actually, let's be honest: grandma bought it) because Big Sister was showing interest in the potty. There was NO WAY I was going to start potty training before moving across the country, but I didn't want to discourage her, so anytime she would ask, we would let her sit on the "big potty" with her little potty seat on top. 

I didn't think Friday was any different. We took her diaper off, put the potty seat on the toilet, and tried to set her on it. Keyword: TRIED. She got mad, was perfectly 2 and said, "NO! No. No. No!" and sat in the corner of our bathroom. To which I responded, "You don't have to sit on the potty. That's fine. Please come here for a clean bum." We were both still pretty reasonable at this point. Then we had the following conversation:

Big Sister (BS): Don't want!

Me: You need a new diaper or to sit on the potty.

BS (who had begun crying): Nooooo!

(She then proceeded to put her potty seat on the floor)

Me: Your Dora seat needs to stay on the potty. 

BS: No! My do! (Still trying to put it on the floor)

Me: No. That's not where Dora goes. 

BS: (crying intently) No! My do! 

Me (anticipating an accident): We're not  going to leave the bathroom until you have a diaper on. 

And then it happened. She threw her first, full-blown temper tantrum, complete with thrashing and screaming. Right before she peed the bathroom floor. 

When she calmed down, I cleaned her up and asked if she wanted a "Big Sister-sized potty" to which she somewhat pitifully responded "uh-huh."

I then immediately called Mario--even though I was pretty certain he was busy in a meeting--and asked what he thought we should do. The decision was made to go to the store after picking him up from  campus to get a potty chair, pull ups and underwear/panties. When we got home, we asked her which she wanted, the answer was "Elsa socks" pointing to the panties. 

We put them on for the rest of the evening, and she had several accidents, as expected. Saturday we let her wear whichever she wanted, again, and she picked primarily panties. Until we had an Elders Quorum family activity, when we put her in pull ups. She was also primarily in pull ups on Sunday. After church, she really wanted underwear, but we had dinner plans and didn't want to deal with that fiasco. 

Monday we decided she was really interested in the potty and "big girl underwear, so we better start looking into the program/process of potty training. She was interested, and enthusiastic all day long, but never seemed successful. Tuesday we intended to run errands, so we put her in pull ups, but never went anywhere. Which led to her choosing pull ups on Wednesday (yes, that was the day of the Facebook status) and nearly giving up. Yesterday was back in panties and plastic pants, with a lot of frustration from Mario and me. 

But today, I realized we were probably expecting too much. We were expecting leaps and bounds, but she was been taking the steps necessary to get there. For example, she went poop in her potty chair. She gets embarrassed when she doesn't make it to the potty. She gets really excited to flush her "excretions" down the big potty. She even was able to hold her pee to get to the bathroom, but since I didn't get to her in time to help her pull down her pants, she still had an accident. 

She really is getting it. She even seems to be enjoying her successes. I just need to remember that she's only 2, and all developmental leaps take time. 

For now, we'll be in underwear at home, and pull ups while out and about, and who knows, that could prolong the process to take months, but I think it's fair to her not to try and force her to potty train on my time schedule. 

So many of those "quick fix" potty training methods left a sour taste in my mouth, and I finally figured out why: I felt like they are so set on a schedule that they put too much pressure on the kiddos. So much in life is standard and performance based, and the expectations on kiddo's are getting so high, that I feel they aren't allowed to "just be kids" anymore. 

We worry about children wearing makeup and being overly sexualized too young, but we, as a society, so often force them into little adults on so many other aspects of life, that we really shouldn't be surprised when they pick up adult traits we don't want. 

Rather than unrealistic expectations, we need to remember that each person, each child, truly has divine potential and their own agency on this earth, and this means we need to let them make their mistakes, clean up their messes, and be patient to wait for the pee or poop to reach the potty, in the case of potty training. 

Preparing children for pornography

This post has been a long time in the making, and there has been a lot of thought and effort into it. Even if you don't read anything else, please read my last paragraph, and I hope you will understand the importance of supporting those around you in various capacities.

With how prevalent pornography is in our society, it's not a question of IF children will encounter pornography, but WHEN. Knowing that, I have been thinking and pondering how I can prepare Little Miss for that inevitable exposure. If you don't already know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I rely on my religion A LOT for direction. The following quote is one I found on the Church website that really sparked my desire to protect Little Miss:

"We must also act to protect those we love. Parents install alarms to warn if their household is threatened by smoke or carbon monoxide. We should also install protections against spiritual threats, protections like filters on Internet connections and locating access so others can see what is being viewed. And we should build the spiritual strength of our families by loving relationships, family prayer, and scripture study...

"Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of pornography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children."

- Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (accessed from lds.org and overcomingpornography.org)

Throughout my studying and pondering on how to combat the draw of pornography, I stumbled across this gem:

“Because pornography activates such strong emotions and reactions in the body, the brain remembers and recalls those types of images easier than other types of images it encounters… [pornography] ‘sticks’ because of (1) how the images are designed, (2) the sexual feelings and urges in our bodies that get triggered by pornography, and (3) how our brains work.”

- Dr. Jill C. Manning, author of What’s the Big Deal about Pornography (accessed through pornproofkids.com)

I thought my parents were very good at preparing my brothers and me for pornography by telling us to let them know if we saw pictures of anyone "not wearing enough clothes, because pornography can be found easily on the Internet," but I still remember the first (semi-)pornographic image I encountered online--I was in 4th grade, and it showed up in an orange ad banner on one of the game sites my brothers and I liked. I could go into graphic detail, but that's not my point, the point is, I still remember it, VIVIDLY, that was over a decade ago, and, while I was 10, I knew what I was looking at. Many children discover pornography by accident without any prior knowledge or understanding that pornography is bad. Can you imagine how well they remember it, and the feelings those photos are designed to trigger? How should I help Little Miss train her brain to forget such a memory? I want her to be ready to FORGET any pornographic images she sees.

I really appreciated the advice from pornproofkids.com and Kristen, the author of the blog. It has a very nice list of goals that I would like to teach:

1. My child will gain a positive view of human sexual intimacy.
2. My child will understand a basic definition of pornography that will allow him or her to recognize it and reject it immediately.
3. My child will know how I feel about pornography.
4. My child will gain a basic understanding of how their brain works, the difference between their feeling brain and their thinking brain, and why their thinking brain needs to stay in charge.
5. My child will understand how viewing pornography can become an addiction which can destroy their chances for freedom and happiness.
6. My child will be prepared with a plan and know what to do when exposed to pornography.
7. My child will feel comfortable talking to me about exposure to pornography.
   - Pornoculation: Where do I Begin

Here are my thoughts and suggestion on these goals:

1. TEACH children about sexuality and intimacy in appropriate ways throughout their life. No, I'm not recommending teaching a 3-year-old exactly what sex is; I think that would be wrong, but at age 3, most children are starting to learn about the differences between genders, or at least discovering their own genitals, and it's important to respond appropriately to those discoveries. 
   
   A good resource I found to help know age-appropriate ways to build relations with children, and teach intimacy is called A Parent's Guide, it's a little bit of an older resource, but I don't think that affects the quality of the material. Because it is a resource from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I especially like that it covers some of the WHYs for me (I was always that kid who asked "Why?" to everything, so I still like to be prepared with those answers when I can.) It also breaks down some of the things to expect and be able to teach into different age groups. My two favorite pieces of advice are "...if the child asks more, the parent answers more; if not, the parent does not. Some children will seek an explanation that includes conception and birth. Others will not." and "Ideally, you should use the first eight to twelve years of a child’s life to prepare him for his teenage years. If you wait until adolescence to teach your children about the changes of puberty and about intimate relationships, you may not be able to influence them as easily." Both of these quotes remind me of the importance of being open about intimacy with children, early enough to prepare them for the roller coaster of changes that accompany puberty, but without overwhelming them.
   
   If you would like more information on why and how to teach children about sexual intimacy, mormon.org has some very helpful videos.
2. I  don't know how many trainings I've been to that stress the importance of teaching children the proper terms for things: the most recent training I went to addressed potty training, and how important it was to expose children to the proper names of urine and bowel movement (or feces in one book), as well as the proper names for the anus and genitals. We were taught that it's OK to use "nicknames" such as pee, poo, etc. in day to day conversation, but to ensure the child learns the proper terms as well--especially for the genitals.
   
   If it's important to teach child the proper potty terms, I think it's just as important to be comfortable using the words "pornography" and "sex" in proper context. If you don't feel comfortable using the word pornography, it makes it really difficult to explain the WHY (see, there it is again) and provide children with the language necessary to properly reject pornography. Kristen provides 5 Tips Every Parent Should Know that is much more affective than I think I can be. However, I recommend you start small and work up to pornography by reminding children that there are private parts that should always be clothed, but sometimes photos/pictures on the Internet show those parts, and that is called pornography. I'm not sure how to help children practice recognizing "That's Pornography!" But I know if you can help your children recognize and reject the pictures as pornography, it will help them move on--at least it helped me as a kid. (Kristen's 3 Secrets to Porn-Immune Kids seems very useful for helping form "media defense skills")
3. I don't want talking about pornography to be taboo, but I also want it obvious that I disapprove of pornography. Maybe it's just me, but I'm afraid that if I talk about pornography without my expectations clearly stated, I may increase interest/curiosity. Regardless, I really like how Kristen phrases her reasoning for letting children know how you feel about pornography: "Begin young to teach your kids the truth about pornography. Teach them your values before popular culture teaches them something completely false." (accessed from pornproofkids.com)
   
   If you have a hard time figuring out how to talk to your children about pornography and your expectations about it, Kristen co-authored a book called Good Pictures, Bad Pictures to help provide easy to understand definitions and help with dialogue. I haven't read it yet, but it has GLOWING reviews on Amazon and I plan to purchase it in the near future. (No, I haven't received any compensation for saying that.)
4. Kristen phrased this better than I ever could for addressing children, so I will just summarize and share a link to her post: You Have Two Brains. She explains the very basic differences between the "thinking" portion of the brain and the "feeling" portion of the brain. She calls them 2 brains, I think, to make it more interesting for children. She also emphasizes that pornography affects the "feeling" portion of the brain, which controls all of the appetites that keep you alive (hunger, thirst, and sexual/reproductive), and that pleasure is stored to eventually hijack the thinking brain--the portion of your brain that helps you decide right from wrong.
5. Because pornography triggers the pleasure center of the brain, the more often it is viewed, especially after negative emotions--boredom, loneliness, anger, stress and/or tiredness (BLAST)--neural pathways are created and strengthened to become an instinct and addiction.  The flow chart below explains the creation of addictions:
   

   

   Image Credit: pornproofkids.com

   
   

   
   

   
   If you would like a story that illustrates how addictions can lead to a loss of freedom, Kristen provides several in her post Freedom Begins in Your Brain, (and I probably have more from teaching preschool, if you really want.)
6. I know Karen lists the plan and having her children feel comfortable talking to as two separate bullets because our reaction as parents is important; however, I think an important part of the reaction plan should be telling us. Some of the solutions we've come up with include (but likely is not limited to) close your eyes and/or turn it off; tell a parent/adult; recognize it as pornography, and say it out loud; do something else distracting--especially something physical and mentally stimulating; consciously recognize the RIGHT time for those feelings is as a husband/wife in marriage (order the "thinking" brain to be in charge).

Asking questions the following questions can help children recognize and recover after an exposure to pornography: 1) How do your body feel? This acknowledges that pornography triggers sexual arousal and feels good physically. It also helps parents avoid shaming the child, which can prevent them reporting future incidents. 2) How do you feel emotionally? Many children report as feeling "yucky" after an exposure to pornography, and by recognizing the physical pleasure, but the emotional turmoil, parents are in a better position to explain the PROPER times for these feelings: between a husband and wife in marriage. (See Porn Aftermath for more details and suggestions.)

Elder M. Russel Ballard has created another list that I would like to share as well. I believe this is another, very inspired, list of advice to protect children and families from pornography, violence and other negative effects the media can have:

"Besides making our voices heard, let me conclude with seven things that every parent can do to minimize the negative effect media can have on our families:

1. We need to hold family councils and decide what our media standards are going to be.

2. We need to spend enough quality time with our children that we are consistently the main influence in their lives, not the media or any peer group.

3. We need to make good media choices ourselves and set good examples for our children.

4. We need to limit the amount of time our children watch TV or play video games or use the Internet each day. Virtual reality must not become their reality.

5. We need to use Internet filters and TV programming locks to prevent our children from “chancing upon” things they should not see.

6. We need to have TVs and computers in a much-used common room in the home, not in a bedroom or a private place.

7. We need to take time to watch appropriate media with our children and discuss with them how to make choices that will uplift and build rather than degrade and destroy.”
-Let Our Voices be Heard (accessed from overcomingpornography.org)

 I know that this is something important to address with our children and the upcoming generation. I wish I could protect all children (and adults, too) from pornography, but I know that isn't possible. Hopefully, though, I can at least help a few be more prepared to avoid the trap that pornography is. While I may not be an expert, and I have not taken the time to research and verify many of these statements, I know several people who have been affected by the pull of pornography. I know the pain it can cause in the lives of individuals and families. I have friends who's families have been torn apart primarily because of pornography. I know of boys who's lives will never be quite the same again, and I have seen some of the struggles that come from trying to overcome the deep, dark addiction that pornography can be. Please, if you take nothing else from this post, know that SOMEONE you know is struggling and needs the help you provide. If you are the one struggling, know there is help. I know Jesus Christ is my Savior and He's yours, too. There is nothing you can't come back from with His help. I'm not here to say it will be easy, but I do know it will be worth it. Turn to Him, use the resources he's provided, such as overcomingpornography.org, and find a support group near you. I have felt the Savior's healing power in my life, I know that He loves each and every one of us, and He truly weeps when we do. Even when we feel like no one understands what we're going through, He does. He has felt every pain, heartache, sickness, affliction and sin that we have, and HE HAS OVERCOME THEM ALL! His hand is always outstretched, all we need to do is take it, and He will lift our spirits and strengthen us to be able to overcome as well. This I know with all my heart, and I hope you will find this knowledge and the peace that you want and need, as well.

New Adventures and Insights

It's funny how life changes in a couple of months. I went from struggling to find things to motivate me, to staying busy and loving every minute of it.

The source of my busy-ness and joy: I recently started working as a private tutor. I currently tutor several different students in math, English/grammar and reading, and I have appointments Monday-Friday. It been great to get another opportunity to teach and help them thrive and excel. 

I've always enjoyed tutoring and teaching, but it never felt quite right to go into formal education/teaching. I've really enjoyed seeing the lightbulb/epiphany effect when students understand their subjects. Sometimes, it's hard when I just can't seem to help a concept stick, and it's a bit of an adventure with Little Miss tagging along and wanting to explore more, but it's nice to feel like I'm making a difference. 

I've also put more of a focus on helping Little Miss grow and develop--both physically and spiritually. We have started getting her new things, and she love blocks: the texture, taste trying to help me build a tower, knocking down my towers, and whatever it is, just the sheer joy of exploring. She also loves music and bangin away on the piano, and most recently stealing new food. She loves being with us for meals and snacks and will snatch food right out of our hands. 

One of the most rewarding things we've done recently initially started because I ran out of things to talk to her/myself about. (If you've had any experience with little ones, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.) I like talking to Little Miss for a variety of reasons, but it gets a little old to simply tell her I'm doing laundry (ALL THE TIME :P ) so I've started reading scriptures with/to her. Often that only lasts a verse or two, but that gives me something to talk about for a while, whether it be finishing the story or going into some of the doctrines/principles. It's been nice to be able to talk to her about the Gospel, and I think it's helped me feel closer to her, and build a stronger bond. What a wonderful daughter Mario and I have been blessed with, and even if sometimes I think she's being a stinker, she is a spirit daughter of God, who is gradually forgetting Him and her home in heaven, and it's my job to help her fill those gaps. And she definitely responds and understands the thoughts and stories I share. I just wish I was more consistent with these experiences. What a wonderful, strong spirit she brings to our family, and I haven't recognized it much before. 

I love her, and I want her growing up knowing that I know my Savior lives, and He suffered, died and was resurrected that we--each of us individually--may live again. I know that we were in His and our Father in Heaven's presences before this life, and if we do our best and rely on Christ we truly have the opportunity to return to Them after this life. I know that Joseph Smith saw the Father and the Son, and through Their guidance, he was able to restore the Gospel to the earth, just as it was when Christ was on the earth. And we still have a living prophet on the earth, President Thomas S. Monson, and if we listen to his counsel, and that of the other apostles, we will be led back to our home in heaven. 

I also want her to know that she can gain this same knowledge through the Spirit of  the Lord after personal prayer and study.